Practicing Gratitude
With the rise of social media, many people have witnessed a wave of dissatisfaction in their everyday lives. More and more people report feeling depressed or dissatisfied with their career, physical appearance, relationships, or life experiences. If you are not currently in a happy relationship, thriving at your dream job, or maintaining a perfect body; it can be hard to feel like you are enough. This feeling can be amplified when we examine modern wellness culture that implies that you can accomplish all of these things with the help of whatever product or routine that happens to be trending that day. Social media itself only serves as a highlight reel that makes it is so easy to lose perspective resulting in increasing dissatisfaction in day-to-day life. Social media causes us to look outward with jealousy and inward with insecurity. The field of positive psychology is a relatively new discipline that focuses on what makes life worth living. It studies the positive experiences and traits of some of the happiest among us. Notably, the discipline studies many people who carry very heavy burdens but who can find relief from that suffering through contentment and joy. Upon analyzing these people, researchers wanted to know whether it was possible to apply their perspective of life to everyday people. Scientists were searching for a way to combat our dissatisfaction, the most observed solution was gratitude.
The clinical definition of gratitude is "the appreciation of what is valuable and meaningful to oneself". Several studies have shown a positive correlation between gratitude and overall well-being. Science shows that gratitude is related consistently with the medial prefrontal cortex and with the neuropeptide oxytocin. Oxytocin, notably referred to as the love hormone, is associated with social bonding and deep relationships. Those who express higher levels of gratitude are shown to develop deeper relationships, have better sleep quality, increased heath, as well as reduce the need for materialistic items. They are also shown to be less likely to develop anxiety and depression, as well as respond to traumatic events better than those who do not exhibit this trait. Gratitude-based writing helps an individual to appraise events positively. Studies showed that the effects of gratitude writing lasted up to one-month post after the gratitude exercises. Gratitude is defined as a character trait that is affected by genetic factors, personality type, and cultural upbringing. Because a large factor of trait gratitude is pre-defined for us, some people inherently are predisposed to feel more/less grateful. Despite this, there are scientifically-backed methods to feeling more grateful.
What can you do to make yourself more grateful?
Gratitude journaling is very beneficial in incorporating gratitude and it is incredibly simple. Everyday write out three things that you are grateful for (I try to not list the same thing twice). It can be something as small as when a stranger opens a door for you, or it can be something as important as your health or family. For some, they like to do this in the morning as a way to start the day but I prefer to do this exercise at night as a way to reflect on the previous day. This exercise can feel a bit awkward at first but I encourage you to try it out! I recommend writing these things out as well instead of simply thinking them in your head.
For those like me who occasionally struggle with body image issues, I like to think of things my body has done for me or accomplished instead of the way that it looks. For example, I like to list things like "1. This body performed in London / 2. This body was has been with me through all my life experiences / 3. This body has been held by the people I love most.” These things make me feel grateful for my body even if I don't necessarily feel comfortable in it. Any step in the right direction is progress.
Vocalize to those in your life that you are grateful for them. It is beneficial for you to tell your friend or family member how much you appreciate them and it is likely to give them a positive feeling as well.
Take a mindful walk - this can be around your neighborhood or perhaps a local park. Take notice of the environment around you; try your best to not listen to music or a podcast and instead be mindful in the experience. Look at the beauty of nature or the people around you. Learn to be thankful for your space and community. Appreciate the little things like plants, air, and your body’s movement.
** Reminder: Gratitude is not meant to substitute therapy or to cure depression, it is simply an exercise. I highly recommend seeing a therapist if you are struggling with any kind of depression or anxiety.
Sources:
Duckworth, A. (2005). Positive psychology in Clinical Practice. The SAGE Encyclopedia of Abnormal and Clinical Psychology. https://doi.org/10.4135/9781483365817.n1040
Fekete, E. M., & Deichert, N. T. (2022). A Brief Gratitude Writing Intervention Decreased Stress and Negative Affect During the COVID-19 Pandemic. Journal of happiness studies, 1–22. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-022-00505-6
Karns, C. M., Moore, W. E., 3rd, & Mayr, U. (2017). The Cultivation of Pure Altruism via Gratitude: A Functional MRI Study of Change with Gratitude Practice. Frontiers in human neuroscience, 11, 599. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2017.00599
Sansone, R. A., & Sansone, L. A. (2010) Gratitude and well being :and benefits of appreciation. Psychiatry (Edgmont (Pa. : Township)), 7(11), 18–22.
Wong, Y. J., Owen, J., Gabana, N. T., Brown, J. W., McInnis, S., Toth, P., & Gilman, L. (2018). Does gratitude writing improve the mental health of psychotherapy clients? Evidence from a randomized controlled trial. Psychotherapy research: journal of the Society for Psychotherapy Research, 28(2), 192–202. https://doi.org/10.1080/10503307.2016.1169332